im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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