She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
