Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
