i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
