the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We need to get me chipped asap
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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