either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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