He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize