so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
