I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
