I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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