Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
