She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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