You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
