Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize