My hand turned me down
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize