Don't you send me to vm
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Too much gin, very little bucket
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
