Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
