do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
