That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Randomize