I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
