Are we in a gay sports bar?
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
