So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
