Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Banned from zoo.
Again?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
