he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Two words: nipple clamps
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