sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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