well I can't set my house on fire every night
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Let's paint friendship bongs
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
