That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
