If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
