Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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