what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
