Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jรคger bombs?
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
Randomize
