hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
