Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
