I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
