I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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