grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
it glows. i had to have it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
