nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
