there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
