Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
A bitchslap is in order.
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