I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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