wakey wakey hands off snakey
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
