Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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