hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize