ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
