I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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