Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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