I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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