you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
