were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
