FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I believe in your delicious
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
