you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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