I'm jealous of your bromance
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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