CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need to sanitize my soul.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize