i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
