Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
