jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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