I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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