Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
