I faked an abortion last night.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
People with herpes should wear stickers.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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