Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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