I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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