We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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