if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
