got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
