My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Randomize
