There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
