TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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