I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
