My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize