great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
