im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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