I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
...so i touched it.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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