She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Bring me that man meat
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
