His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I'm at about main and main street
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
